Whalecome

i get really happy when it’s not me who starts the conversation because that removes so much anxiety about whether i’m bothering the person or if they secretly hate me even if i know that’s not true 

officialmcdonaldsblog:

plutoisthebestplanet:

carolingponds:

frankietastic:

juilan:

I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups

are you satan

are you god

are you human

or are we dancer

officialfrenchtoast:

why do hot bodies happen to people with shitty personalities

age 11: worry about internet people finding me in real life
now: worry about people in real life finding me on the internet

fuckinq:

I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me